If Sun Tzu saw you play the Total war games

Earth001

This has been on my mind for a while now but what would happen if Sun Tzu was brought back to modern times and to your house to watch you play the Total war games. If he saw you play your game what would he say? What would he say to you when you are controlling your forces? What suggestions do you think he would make and what would he tell you?

LouThunders

He would say "quit using auto-resolve and get fighting" if it were on a Grand Campaign (I'm more into the building, economy, expansion and diplomacy side more than jumping into action myself.), however if I'm battling probably he wouldn't say anything much, cause I pretty much adapt to the "Art of War" (I even have a copy on my desk for reference) itself into my games.

Half_Life_Expert

I also make alot of use of the Art of War principles, so he would have some suggestions but overall i think he would be impressed

i also think he would agree with me that future TW games need an all-the-time atrittion system, consisting of supply lines when in enemy territory that can be attacked and cut

Earth001

I think that Sun Tzu would advise me to not send all my men out at once because that is one of my tactics to use all my men to charge down one unit and take them out one by one.

daelin4#9896

I think he'd ask why am I starting at a moving flickering flat board with lights coming out of it? moving around a rock with my right hand and bashing a plank with the left. Then he'd ask why am I not yelling at the females in my house back to the kitchen to raise kids make sammich and go make marriage alliances with the neighbours.

Dalv

I think he would be angry that China wasn't portrayed.

daelin4#9896

Actually he wouldn't have a clue as to what you mean by China.

Naisho

He would tell us starve them of supplies, which we will respond, "we can't".

He would tell us attack their reinforcements, which we will respond, "we can't".

Scare their leaders with losses, which we will respond, "we can't".

Following which he will ask "what can you do?", which we will respond, "loot and conquer".


He will say make them a vassal, which we will respond, "They will turn against us".

Force them to surrender with overwhelming odds, which we will respond, "they fight to the death".


Following which he complains, "Why are you calling this total war!?". To which we respond, "we fight battles!"

To which he responds, "Tactics without Strategy go look it up in my memoirs."

[Deleted User]

He'd say:

"Spam loanies and use matchies, dumb*ss...."

Edit:

And he'd probably wonder how much back royalties he would score...

Edit 2:

Actually, I think he'd have the best rant of all time, and Daelin were perma-ban him....

darkstar

he would say something in manderin that i cant understand

Joker

He'd turn red of ambarrassement

dge1

He'd drink up all the rice wine.

Napoleon 2nd

He'd ask me for advice...

darkstar

youre humble

Napoleon 2nd

Thank you, peasent! lol

Half_Life_Expert

Napoleon 2nd wrote: »

He'd ask me for advice...

After Russia and Waterloo, he probably wouldnt respect ur advice

Napoleon 2nd

Waterloo?? wher's that again i forgot..... lol He'd be in awe of my colooms marching! And russia, i got to Moscow, unlike somebody...

Half_Life_Expert

Naisho wrote: »

He would tell us starve them of supplies, which we will respond, "we can't".

I Want to be able to do that!

Half_Life_Expert

Napoleon 2nd wrote: »

Waterloo?? wher's that again i forgot..... lol He'd be in awe of my colooms marching! And russia, i got to Moscow, unlike somebody...

At waterloo, napoleon made relentless frontal attacks when he should have tried to go around wellington

Yes Napoleon did do a better job in russia than H itler

LouThunders

No one did a good job in Russia imo. No invasion to Russia has ever been successful. Yes, Napoleon got to Moscow, but Russia didn't capitulate, and instead they fought back. No one ever invaded Russia and succeeded in modern times.

Maeda_Toshiie

1315044711582.jpg

The Shogun doesn't seem to have much problems adapting.

Napoleon 2nd

Fair enough. i challenge you Shogun!

[Deleted User]

By the look on The Shogun's face, I think he just found out he's playing a cav spammer...

Napoleon 2nd

Or me......

Musha

lol. This is fun.

Provided he and I would understand each other, I would **** my pants and scream like little school girl but most probably kneel down and kowtow to him as he would be my ancestor reborn and I can finally hear what ancient Chinese sounds like. And most likely I would fail my total war gameplay because I am having a nervous breakdown when one of the world's most revered strategists of all human history is watching behind me.

And to the previous poster who commented on him speaking Mandarin, that would be historically impossible as the language won't emerge until perhaps near the end of the Qing Empire, the last Dynasty before the Republic, some 2300 years after Sun Tzu's time. But hey, we are talking about Sun Tzu reborn behind your computer so...

Durin#4613

LouThunders wrote: »

No one did a good job in Russia imo. No invasion to Russia has ever been successful.

What about Mongols? It was quite successful.

Napoleon 2nd

Well, they came from the East. An exception. lol

Bonfire

Earth001 wrote: »

This has been on my mind for a while now but what would happen if Sun Tzu was brought back to modern times and to your house to watch you play the Total war games. If he saw you play your game what would he say? What would he say to you when you are controlling your forces? What suggestions do you think he would make and what would he tell you?

I imagine he'd say something in Chinese, and I'd say no comments from the peanut gallery. Shortly after I'd blow his head off with my 12 gauge because zombies are not cool.

GSC

Don't reload that much!

Ancient_Ruffian

I will loan him a Babel fish so we can communicate effortlessly, and the conversation will go something like this:

Me: Yeah, g'day Sun old mate. How're you goin'?
Sun Tzu: Excuse me? What are you saying?
Me: Just saying hello. D'you fancy a beer?
Sun: A what?
Me: A beer, mate. A large cold one. Here...*opens a cold bottle & passes it to the esteemed general. He, somewhat cautiously, takes a swig.*
Sun: Ah! Very good! *indicates computer* What is that thing?
Me: That's my pc. My personal computer. She's not all that flash, ay, but she does the trick.
Sun: She is a .... woman? In a small box?
Me: No mate it's a machine. A device.
Sun: What does it do?
Me: Well come and have a look Sun. See?
Sun: Wah! There is a battle going on!
Me: Yep. You see this army here? I give the orders for them. They're my army.
Sun: How do you do that?
Me: With this thing. *holds up wireless mouse* It's called a mouse.
Sun: So a mouse controls your army???
Me: Well....
Sun: That would explain why you are camping on the hill there.
Me: Now hang on a minute Sun...
Sun: Is that your cavalry there? *points at screen*
Me; (smugly) Yep. Flanking the enemy.
Sun: They are about to run into that pointy-looking thing on the ground there. Won't it -
Me: Holy cr*p cheveaux de frises! Quick! Stop you morons! Arrrgh!
Sun: The enemy infantry is attacking. Why are your artillery still firing at his artillery?
Me: Oops. Right. Thanks for that Sun.
Sun: They're terrible shots by the way.
Me: Yeah, well, not much I can do about that...
Sun: Execute a commanding officer or two. The rest will improve their accuracy significantly as a result.
Me: It's a game, mate. I can't actually kill anyone.
Sun: Neither, it appears, can your infantry.
Me: Oh no, the useless sods are routing! Quick - *presses the general's "Rally" button*.
Sun Now they are running away with little stars over their heads.
Me: Look, Sun, isn't there something else you should be doing?
Sun: I think I'll go back to my own time. Men command armies there. Not mice. Thanks for the beer - oh. Too bad. Crushing Defeat. Better luck next time. (Vanishes in a puff of smoke, in a rather contemptuous fashion.)
Me: The hell with it. *Reloads and auto resolves.* There! Victory! Stick your "Art of War" up that then!

Napoleon 2nd

Hmmmm, actually, that's probbally what would happen! lol ^