I just replayed TES4, and I have a question: Why, why, why
does guard behaviour make no sense? *facepalm*
You can even kill someone, go to jail, come back out and you're a good guy again!!
But what really makes no sense... At the end of Thieves' Guild quest, you have the Cowl of Nocturnal, which makes you the Gray Fox. If you put it on and get caught, the guards confiscate all your belongings and give you rags to wear.
So here's my question:
Why don't they keep the Cowl of Nocturnal as evidence? Why do they even let you go, if they know that you are the Gray Fox??
I'd love to see an ending that goes something like this:
"It's all over, Gray Pox! *snicker* You like that? I made it up meself! I'll take all your stolen goods and - eek! By the Nine Divines! You're the Hero of Kvatch! But a common thief! You're coming with me!" :twisted:
*tick tick tick* The next day...
"Get your Black Horse Courier! Bad cad kicked in nads!" :twisted:
"Gimme that!" *reads*Hero of Kvatch Revealed To Be Gray Fox
All of Cyrodiil was shocked - shocked, I say! - to learn that the Hero of Kvatch, Champion of Cyrodiil, Head of the Fighters' Guild, Archmage of the Guild of Mages, and Grand Champion of the Arena, was none other than the fearsome Gray Fox! Oh yeah, and also supposedly a Murderer in the Assassins' Guild. Whatevs. As if there's really a guild of assassins in Cyrodiil. Get real, willya?
The convicted Gray Fox, known variously as Lizard The Wizard, The Nord and His Sword, and Orky McOrcface, had no comment to make except "this is, like, so embarrassing."
Imperial City resident, Louisa the Breton Snob, commented, "Gasp! I can't believe it - a common criminal in our midst!" She then told me that my mother was a scamp and my father smelled of elderberry wine.
I inquired if he could speak to Louisa's husband, but Louisa replied in the negative, and further threatened me that unless I went away, she would taunt me a second time.
At this point, Louisa's bard strummed his lute and sang:
"Brave reporter, run away! (No!)
Bravely run away, away! (I won't!)
Louisa will not talk to you,
She'll beat you 'til you're black and blue
So brave reporter, out of here
and go and get yourself a beer!
Bravely visit local inn
and drink some ale or wine or gin,
Bravest of them all, you scribbler!"
I swear I'm not making this up.
For the Black Horse Courier, having boldly consumed 10 alcoholic drinks, this is the Khajiit Rajirr-With-Beer reporting.