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I rewrote the restaurant scene in Heat to make DeNiro and Al Pacino into Elector Count and Orc Chief

KuntingWarriorKuntingWarrior Registered Users Posts: 4,175
edited December 2021 in Community Content
ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "Seven years locked up in the Slayer Keep. In the Dawi-Zhar pits for three. Under Gorfang's mercy before that.

NEIL - "Yup."

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "Was Gorfang as tough as they say?"

NEIL - "Why, Youz looking do becum the head git?"

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "You looking to go back? I chased some savage tribes, the guys were lookin' to mess up and get busted back to."

NEIL - "Ya must av worked some right dumb gitz ."

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "I worked all kinds of tribes."

NEIL (pause) - "Dya see me painting meself red and doing caravan holdups with a "Born to WAAAGH" tattoo on me chest?"


NEIL - "Ya right humie. And I..." (low threat) "I ain't neva going back to doz stuntie mines."

The adversarial intensity is eye-to-eye.

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "Then don't take down scores."

NEIL - "I do's wat I do's best. I take scores and loot villages. Yuz do what yuz do bestest trying ta stop gitz like me."


ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "You never wanted a normal-type life?"

NEIL - "What da zog is that? Squigs on barbeques an bloodball?"

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "That's part of it, yeah."

NEIL - "Dat's real zoggin nice. Dat yur life?"

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "No. My wife, the countess spends half her time on the throne. My stepdaughter's got problems 'cause her real father's a chaos cultist a real ****. And every moment I got, I'm chasing greenskins like you."

NEIL - "A shaman told me once: ya want ta make moves? Don't keep fings in ya life ya can't walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel da heat around the corner." (pause) So if ya chasing me and you gotta move when I move, how do
you fink ya gonna keep ya little humie family?"

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "What are you, a monk?"

NEIL - "Na." (pause) "I got me boyz, me mates."

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "What do you tell them?"

NEIL - "They fink wat I do is propa great, robbin from you lot but they only want ta fight."

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "And if you spot me around the corner. You gonna walk out on them? Leave them flat to fight the men sent to take you in while you slink off to go on your next job? Like that? Not even say goodbye?"

NEIL - "Dat's da discipline, I can always get new mates."

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "What you're left with is pretty empty."

NEIL - "Yup? Den maybe you an me, we should both go do sumfin' else, mate."

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "I don't know how to do anything else, being an Elector Count is all I know."

NEIL - "...nah me either."

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "And I don't much want to."

NEIL - "I don't wanna change either humie, being a zoggin great robba is too much fun."

Both of these guys look at each other and recognize the
mutuality of their condition.

Hanna's light laughter:

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA - "We're sitting here like a couple of regular soldiers. You do what you do. I do what I gotta do. What happens if I am there and I got to put you away?" (pause) I won't like it. But, if it's between you and some poor Imperial merchant whose wife you're going to make into a stew, brother, you are gonna go down. 'Cause you don't have to be there. You coulda gone and been a... a squig herder."

NEIL - "Oi, ders a flip side to dat coin. What if ya got me boxed in and I krump ya? 'Cause no matter wat, you will not get in me way. But now dat a seen ya face ta face, I would not feel good about that, you seem like a decent git. But I won't hesitate. Not for one zoggin second."

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA (smiles) - "Maybe it'll happen that way. Or who knows ..."

NEIL - "...maybe we'll neva see each other's mugs again, humie."

They look at each other for a moment. Neil has a sly orcish smile.

ELECTOR COUNT HANNA (to tavern girl) - "Can we have the bill."
Post edited by BillyRuffian on


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